We want to see the people of our past—at least the people we love—as most of us see a rose. Perfect. Flawless. Thorn-less.
Let’s take the dozen roses that we so often have delivered. Colors may vary, but they are always presented in bud form. Is that so we can watch them come into full bloom? Or do we prefer to see something frozen at its apex? Something in a constant state of youthfulness, full of potential?
Looking for perfection blinds us to beauty
My Grandfather
We often think back to our ancestors to the times when they were like the proverbial buds found in the florist’s shop.
Though they don’t necessarily think of ancestors are as young, many people choose to tell only the best stories. The great stories. The warm fuzzy stories.
Obviously, those make great narratives. But, there’s a danger there. If we pick and choose too much, we can miss the true beauty of the lives that went before us.
We might end up with a facsimile of our loved ones and ancestors that belies their natural beauty.
Natural Beauty
Roses don’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. And neither do our family stories. In fact, the “flaws” are sometimes the most riveting things about them.
Without the imperfections, we’d miss the nuances.
We’d miss the wonders of the everyday.
The raucous gatherings where everyone lets their hair down.
The maturity that breeds wisdom.
The hardships faced and endured.
If we stuck to the perfect and the impressive, we’d miss all sorts of stories about what made our loved ones a family. The family dynamics, quick tempers, failed crops, hopes not achieved, and the hard work it took to merely survive are all important to your family story.
Your Turn
What types of average, everyday, beautiful stories do you have to tell about your family? Start writing!
I love this Laura! And I agree. It really is important to include the everyday challenges and triumphs of our ancestors’ lives in our stories.
Thanks Jana!
I love this post! And you have such wonderful pictures! And I agree, I love when I can round out a person by telling the little stories as well as the big.
Thanks Jo!
I liked your imaginative aporiach to writing about family history and the inclusion of your beautiful rose photographs. I agree we need to find out the little details about our ancestors that brings them “alive” to us beyond their names and dates. For me it was finding a death announcement on my GGG Grandmother with the sentiment that meant so much to me.
Wow, Susan. That’s something for a ggg grandmother. You can imagine what it would have been like to read it at the time. So precious.
All your flowers are as beautiful as your photos and the stories they tell.
I can’t grow a flower to save my life, but even my farmer ancestors have stories to tell and I love telling them!
Haha. Many of those roses were in other gardens. My FIL was a great rose-grower and I inevitably think of him when I see them. And you’re absolutely right about telling the stories, Dianne.
I LOVE THIS! I might be the only one but I actually enjoy the “crazy” stories I find more than “pretty” ones. I mean I enjoy warm and cozy stories too but the crazy ones are the most entertaining to me.
I agree. They show the family dynamics.
A great concept, Laura. I think at times we tend to filter a lot of stories, and fair enough when there are still lots of descendants who may be upset by some, but showing that their lives weren’t all milk and honey is also important.
Sometimes I think I have more thorns than roses in my family garden.