Not only do family historians and memoir writers want to convey compelling stories untinged by mistruths and embellishments, they also want to tell those family and ancestor stories without judgment. How do we do that?
It’s not easy to approach difficult chapters of the family’s past. We’re tempted to ignore ancestors’ less than perfect characteristics because we don’t know how to write honestly without standing in judgment on events that happened long ago.
Writing compelling, balanced, historical accounts
Let’s take a step back before we look at how to avoid judgment.
Is telling ancestor stories without judgment really your aim?
Many memoirists and family storytellers approach the past with a thesis to support. Their writing may be a piece of advocacy or debunking widely accepted myths. (See Which Storytelling hat are you wearing?) Note that writing from a standpoint of bias doesn’t relieve writers from the burden of accuracy. But they might approach the story differently.
There’s great reasons for doing it that way.
For instance, I plan to write about my great aunt Ellen, who was admitted to the Virginia Bar in the 1930s and who donated her body to science. I believe she was extraordinary. My writing might aim to support that.
As I research, I am ethically bound to evaluate all the information I find about her and evaluate my sources. Are they primary sources? Are family traditions accurate? Am I interpreting them correctly?
Adding balance to historical accounts
Even as I reveal evidence to support my belief that she was an incredible woman, if I want readers to connect with her, I should stop short of declaring her a saint. (See Roses Aren’t Perfect – Family Stories Shouldn’t be Either.) Particularly if I want her story to inspire, I don’t want to portray my great aunt as unapproachable. I need to show her humanity.
Don’t assume readers are fully aware of historical backdrops. Layering this rich context with family and emotional circumstances will increase both the accuracy and impact of your story.
Writing ancestor stories without judgment: Explain instead of persuading.
As a historical writer, you are also an explainer. Take that to heart.
We’re not working for the prosecution or the defense. We’re on the side of history. Our quest is to provide the most accurate understanding of the past that we can with “reasonably exhaustive” research.
This shift in perspective is big.
It means the primary focus of family history writing isn’t to defend or condemn our forebears’ actions. We aren’t co-defendants in the courts of public opinion when it comes to difficult chapters of the family past. We’re not responsible for their misdeeds.
That’s good, right? But here’s the rub.
Neither can we claim our ancestors’ accomplishments as a feather in our own cap. Our own life choices provide decorations for any millinery or hattery we don.
That’s freeing. We can concentrate on the explaining versus the justifying and judging.
Here’s what happened. Here’s what might help us understand that event.
Let readers decide what they think.
My college roommate’s mother used to sagely observe, “People are funny things.” I call on that wisdom often. It reminders me to observe others without giving thought to whether they are good, bad, or indifferent.
Readers don’t have to know our opinions on this either. In fact, I would argue that most readers prefer to develop their own opinions and connections than to read what the story’s author thought.
Rather than label relatives as morally superior or ethically wanting, we can show the external forces and internal conflicts that our “characters” faced to help readers more fully understand them.
Let actions tell the story
In her article for Writers Digest, 5 Ways to Write about Real People in Memoirs, Amanda Patterson advises writers to reveal the story via the actions people take:
Let their actions tell a story. Show who they are through… their life choices, their friends, and the consequences of their actions. Don’t make judgements about these. Just describe them.
For me, that’s a great mechanism to keep unconscious bias out of my writing. By adhering to the old “show don’t tell” adage, we force ourselves to look at the situation honestly.
Your Turn
When have you had trouble writing family and ancestor stories without judgment? How did you handle that dilemma?
Agree with you about not introducing bias into our family history stories, and about showing all sides of the ancestor’s personality and life story. I can’t walk a mile in the shoes of any of my ancestors, can’t know exactly why they did what they did. Still, I think it can be interesting and helpful speculate about why ancestors did what they did, and how their decisions turned out to impact later generations–as long as we let readers know what is speculation and whether ancestors could have had any way of knowing that an action would have consequences in decades to come. Often this part of a story is as helpful to the next generation as the story itself, giving them a variety of ways to view the story and adding any insights that we, as family historians, may have due to our understanding of the family tree overall.
Given the number of criminals I’ve found in my family, I’ve learned very quickly not to judge – in almost all cases, there were extenuating circumstances and how do I know I wouldn’t have done what they did in their shoes? And they certainly give us lots of good stories, though some, like my 4th great-uncle who was transported to Australia, just make me sad…his life of crime continued there, he never married, and when he died, he was alone at an institution.
Laura – what a thoughtful and helpful article about our duties and goals in writing ancestor stories. Thank you. I’ll be sharing it with my readers.
Thank you Rhonda
Combing historical accuracy with compelling storytelling is a delicate balance, which we genealogy bloggers constantly struggle with. You offer some great pointers to help us along. Thanks!
Thank you Molly. I appreciate that!